Moyo Musings - Weekly Reflections for Growth
Relationships are the cornerstone of spirituality. It is not that relationships are a part of life, but that life is relationship. The concept of a “you” is valid only in context of your relationships. Where would you be without your parents who gave you life? Could you be an employee without your boss? How are you a spouse without your husband or wife? “You” exist only in relation to the other. Your relationship with your parents is your relationship with the world
Though we appear to have hundreds or even thousands of relationships in a single lifetime, if we look closely, there is fundamentally only one relationship - our relationship with our parents. Any unresolved issues in our relationship with our parents will be mirrored in all aspects of our life. For example, philosophers Sri Amma and Sri Bhagavan teach that if we have a strained relationship with our father, we are likely to experience financial and career difficulties, while a strained relationship with our mother could result in numerous obstacles, including health and psychological problems.
Relationships affect our brains Our brains are powerful instruments that send and receive signals every second. The universe is so structured that we should receive whatever we strongly desire. The moment you have a desire, your brain sends an outgoing signal to the universal network, which is received by the right person who can fulfill your desire. We can also refer to this as “grace” that intercedes on our behalf and helps us with manifestation. Then why is it that even though we have prayed sincerely and done our part, that this grace doesn’t manifest? This is because our brains are unable to send out the right signals. When relationships are strained due to unresolved issues, the brain is physically impacted. Sri Bhagavan says that neuroimaging shows that dark spots form on the brain. These dark spots interfere with signal transmission to and from the brain. As a result, we are unable to manifest our intentions fully. Let’s take a look at how this might affect a real-life scenario. Assume that you have been seeking a raise at work but have been unable to convince your boss. If you have had a rocky relationship with your father, and were to have a heart-to-heart about your past differences, your boss might change his mind and suddenly decide that you deserve a raise. Suppose you find yourself encountering several obstacles on the day of an important interview. You might become sick or find yourself unable to focus. This could be because your relationship with your mother needs attention. During the interview, your brain would send an unconscious signal to the interviewer, due to which he feels that you’re not the right person for the job and he disqualifies you. Even if you seemed to be hitting it off, he would decide to go with another candidate. When relationships with our parents are set right, the heart sends a clear signal to the brain, which in turn sends out a clear signal that reaches the right person. This same interviewer might have a change of heart, and suddenly decide to hire you.
What if my parents are deceased?
This universal law applies whether our parents are dead or alive. If one or both parents have passed away, you could simply light a candle by their photo and have a heart-to-heart as if that parent were in front of you. Express your heartfelt gratitude, ask for forgiveness for the times you hurt them, and encourage them to ascend to the Light (if it agrees with your beliefs). If you have never known one or both of your parents, or are unable to get in touch with them, simply do your best to communicate from your heart. Recognize that if you are harboring resentment or feelings of abandonment, you are creating blocks for yourself. Setting right relationships would also apply to a foster parent, step-parent, or anyone else who reared you.
Make clearing relationships a practice
Remember, life is relationship. Relationships are complex, nuanced, and impact us throughout our lives, so setting them right isn’t just a one-time occurrence. We must maintain our relationships and nurture them with open-heart communication. If they go off-kilter we may find other hurdles in our lives, which is simply a hint to go check in on that relationship.
~Nitya Naidu, Social Media Coordinator