Moyo Musings - Weekly Reflection for Growth
"Joy is not in changing the other, but allowing that person to be himself or herself."
This is possible when we understand the futility of trying to change the other.
You are the resulting conditioning of millions of factors. Your experiences in your mother's womb, childhood, the weather, and the food you consume are just a few. This is the same for the other person. Each of us is unique in our perceptions and approaches.
Yet, we desperately try to fit others into our own treasured frameworks and mental images of how one "should" be. When we expect the other to change and our expectation is unfulfilled, we become angry, frustrated, and hurt. Likewise, others may try to change themselves, only to find that they cannot. They start to feel inadequate, resent themselves and you as well.
This constant effort to change the other creates conflict and suffering. It is like watching the same movie 365 days a year, expecting the ending to change.
When we truly connect with the other and experience their state of being as they are, we find joy, peace, and fulfillment.
Take a look at your own relationships. Is there someone you've tried to change for 1 year, 10 years, or even 40 years? What tactics did you resort to, and were you successful? When you complained and attempted to change their attitude, beliefs or behavior, how did they respond?
~Nitya Naidu, Social Media Coordinator
*Please Note: The comment regarding allowing a person to be as they are should in no way be interpreted to condone acceptance of violence in any form, including the violence perpetrated on any person or against oneself.