Let the Heart do Its Work: A Conversation with Dr. Brenda Wade

On healing childhood hurts, breaking generational cycles, and learning to trust the healer within

There are conversations you plan, and there are conversations that arrive. The episode you're about to hear with Dr. Brenda Wade was the latter.

Dr. Brenda Wade is an internationally recognized psychologist, bestselling author, media expert, and founder of Modern Love and Relationship Global Training Programs. She has served as in-residence psychologist for ABC, NBC, CNN-HLN, and CBS. By any measure, she is a formidable force. But what you'll discover in this conversation is that the most powerful thing about Dr. Brenda isn't her credentials. It's her willingness to be human.

The Wound That Travels Through Time

Many of the struggles we carry as adults have roots in experiences that shaped us as children. Dr. Brenda opened up about her own upbringing as the second of seven children, with parents who migrated from Louisiana — her father from abject rural poverty, her mother from the isolated Black communities of New Orleans. They loved their children fiercely. And the parenting they knew — shaped by Jim Crow, survival, and the ever-present threat of white authority — caused harm that moved through the nervous system and didn't stop there.

"When you have that trauma, first in the family, the grandparents, my parents, there's no way not to feel it. And what it does over time is it creates chronic anxiety. Chronic anxiety turns into chronic depression."

She held these truths simultaneously — without bitterness toward her parents, without minimizing what was done. They did it out of love. It still caused harm. Both things are true. That is the work of healing.

Telling the Story to Set It Free

Dr. Brenda spoke openly about addiction in her family — the way unhealed pain seeks any exit it can find. She finds deep resonance in 12-step programs, not only for their practical support but for their spiritual foundation. She was equally clear about the necessity of telling our stories.

"I'm telling my story, because if we don't tell it, we can't heal. It stays inside us, and it's suppressed."

For the women in our community who have been taught to be strong, to be silent, to keep going no matter what: your story is not a burden. It is the beginning of your healing.

Africa and the Medicine of Being Remembered

One of the most moving moments came when Dr. Brenda shared what happened when Essence Magazine sent her to Africa under the legendary Susan Taylor. An indigenous woman said to her:

"We know that you were taken from us. We talk about you all the time over here. We don't know how you survived."

There were people on the continent who remembered, who watched, who felt pride. I shared my own experience traveling to Nigeria and South Africa — the deep grounding I felt in the land and the drums, a "bottom note" ancient and solid that I had never felt in this country. Re-member. Dr. Brenda broke that word open: to remember is to make ourselves part of our family again.

Let the Heart Do Its Work

Near the end of our conversation, Dr. Brenda offered a simple practice. Place your hand on your sternum. Tap gently on that breastbone. Beneath it lives the thymus gland, which regulates the heart. Tapping it activates blood flow, hormone balance, and calm.

"Just tap your sternum. Let that heart do its work. The heart is a healer if we allow it to do the healing."

Then she led us in an affirmation: I am 100% lovable. Hand on the chest. Feeling the warmth. Owning it.

"We all have possibilities; we all have ways that we can let our light shine."

A Word Before You Listen

This episode touches on addiction, intergenerational trauma, harsh parenting, racial violence, and chronic depression. We name that directly, because we know many of our listeners carry these stories in their own bodies. If anything in this episode stirs something in you, that stirring is information. Your body is listening. Your ancestors are watching. And there is always, as Dr. Brenda reminded us, someone sent to help you through — if you open your heart to receive them.

Listen, subscribe, and share this episode with a woman in your life who needs to be reminded: the heart is a healer. Let it do its work.

Dr. Brenda Wade's resources: www.drbrendawade.com

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Love Letters to Our Bodies is a podcast of Moyo Institute, Inc. — a Bay Area nonprofit elevating holistic health and consciousness for women navigating cancer journeys and beyond.